I trained to become a life coach in 2011, and one of the most powerful things I learned is that I get to be the author of my own story. I can choose to tell it, and live it, from any perspective I choose. I can tell my story as the victim or the hero. I can see the hurts and the strengths, see both the negatives and the positives - but decide who that makes me. Very few things in a story are a fact, most are just an interpretation. For a long time I saw many parts of my life from a "poor me" perspective, but I would not have all the tools, expertise and insight that make me a good coach without the life I have lived. And I love my life. I am incredibly grateful for my life. My life is kick-ass! So now I like to think of my life like a character in a comic book who discovers she has special powers. Like so ...
I come from a super dysfunctional family: abuse, alcoholism,
co-dependency, depression, suicide. What this means now is that I've
spent a whole lotta years figuring out how family members relate to each
other; how to unwind from a clingy and controlling mother; how to
forgive an absent and immature father; how self-protective measures used
in childhood become self-limiting beliefs in adulthood; how to
re-parent myself and have functional adult relationships. This has given
me super-powers! I can smell guilt trips from miles
away and refuse to take those trips! My bullshit detector for self-pitying,
self-defeating beliefs and behaviors is like x-ray vision for the soul!
I've moved a lot. I went to nine schools in nine years. I've lived
in four different countries (Canada, the US, Spain, and Mexico) and six
different cities. I speak 3 languages. I've had to pack and unpack a
lot. I've made lots of friends and said lots of goodbyes. I've been the
new girl many, many times. I felt like an outsider/observer for a great
deal of my youth. All of this has given me super-communication powers! I
help lost tourists! Kids and teens love talking to me (and I to them)! I
can strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere! People tell me their deepest stuff when I meet them! And I have
super-outsider vision that lets me see situations and motivations
keenly and clearly!
I was sick a lot through most of my life; chronic tonsillitis, chronic sinusitis, chronic allergies, pneumonia. I missed a lot of school. I read a lot of books. I took a lot of medication and got a lot of bad advice - mostly from doctors. I had to learn to really listen to my body so I became a super-detective of my own suffering and now I can really hear my body! And heal my body! I discovered what had been making me sick all these years and zapped it and all that medication from my life! And I'm not allergic to cats (like I used to believe)! So I'm a super-cat-lover! I have super-healing powers! And I help people discover their own super healing powers!
I've had a lot of relationships. I've had so many friends. Childhood
friends, girls and boys. Mean friends and sweet friends. High school
friends, girls and boys. Jealous friends and loyal friends. I have adult
friends, women and men. Dancing friends and helpful friends. I've dated
lots. I've fallen in love lots. I've had my heart broken lots -
demolished a few times - and have broken a few along the way. I've had
relationship therapy good and bad. Now I have the power of welcoming
people into my life and the power of letting go when they leave! I have
the power of love (cue Huey Lewis)! Love without demands and attachment
that lets others be themselves! And lets me be me!
I've had a lot of jobs. My first job was in a steel factory when I
was 18. I'm not kidding - Flashdance! I've worked in hair
salons, I've been a secretary/admin assistant. I've worked with lawyers
and bankers. I've been a high school teacher at a high-risk school. I've
performed as a swing dancer live and on TV more times than I can count. I've run my own dance studio and taught countless kids and adults how to partner dance. This is perhaps my most amazing power - I
show people they can do anything! I've taught lots of people who were convinced they'd never be able to dance, but they did. And after that, the
sky's the limit!
And this is the essence of what I believe about life. Belief drives
action. And you can change your beliefs. If you believe you can't dance,
you won't try. If you once believed you couldn't dance but learned how,
what other limiting beliefs might be wrong? I never thought I'd be a Solid Gold dancer. I was wrong.
I'm constantly learning about life and myself, and passing along what I find out so that we can all enjoy life. Not a bad super power! KA-POW!