December 06, 2017

In support of selfishness

In support of selfishness (or as I like to think of it, your real job of caring for yourself and growing into maturity):

"Of all the judgements that we pass in life, none is as important as is the one we pass on ourselves, for that judgement touches the very center of our existence. No significant aspect of our thinking, motivation, feelings, or behavior is unaffected by our self-evaluation.

To honor the self is to be willing to think independently, to live by our own mind, and to have the courage of our own perceptions and judgements.

To honor the self is to be willing to know not only what we think, but also what we feel, what we want, need, desire, suffer over, are frightened or angered by - and to accept our right to experience such feelings. The opposite of this attitude is denial, disowning, repression - self-repudiation.

To honor the self is to preserve an attitude of self-acceptance - which means to accept as what we are, without self-oppression or self-castigation, without any pretence about the truth of our own being, pretence aimed at deceiving either ourselves or anyone else.

To honor the self is to live authentically, to speak and act from our innermost convictions and feelings.

To honor the self is to refuse to accept unearned guilt, and to do our best to correct such guilt as we may have earned.

To honor the self is to be committed to our right to exist which proceeds from the knowledge that our life does not belong to others and that we are not here on earth to live up to someone else's expectations.

To honor the self is to be in love with our own life, in love with our possibilities for growth and for experiencing our distinctly human potentialities.

Thus we can begin to see that to honor the self is to practise selfishness in the highest, noblest, and least understood sense of the word. And this requires enormous independence, courage, and integrity." ~ Nathaniel Branden, Honoring The Self

September 21, 2016

The Dream It, DO IT Workshop

Join me and my dear friend & dreamworker Julia Burton for our intensive workshop where we uncover what your dream are trying to tell you and then make sure that there are no "yeah buts" getting in the way of the message and next steps. Your dreams are trying to help you and by the end of the evening you will have clarity and a course of action to lead you toward what you really want in your life.

There are only 4 spots in this session so please RSVP soon.

We will begin by making some creative work around a recent dream you've had. Don't worry if you don't remember a long dream, just an image or snippet is great. No art skills required.

Julia will then do dreamwork with you to deepen the dream imagery. Expect to be surprised as we explore your dreams together. Belief and issues will come up ... and so will the solutions.

Then I will do belief-work with you. This will loosen-up those concepts that are holding you back in your life right now. The dream will show you both where you are stuck and where there are new avenues of action. You will learn how to move through the stuck points and see how you can most clearly move forward!

This is taking place in downtown Toronto at 7pm on Thursday Sept. 29 and cost is $85, and includes snacks!

Please contact me directly to reserve your spot. jessica @ jessicajenkins dot ca


February 06, 2016

Couples Therapy with Hedy Schleifer

One of the things that started me on this journey of formally becoming a Life Coach was when I did some couples therapy with a former partner back in 2009. I knew what I was looking for in terms of improvement (lol) in our relationship so I went looking for a particular kind of therapist.

"Good communication" is that thing that is so often touted as the most important thing in a romantic relationship and our efforts were feeling very far from good. As often happens in my life, just the right information found me at this time and I'm not even quite sure where it came from. But I heard about Imago Therapy and realized that the book Getting The Love You Want was somewhat familiar to me. At its core, Imago Therapy is about learning to have a dialogue with another person where you really listen, or are listened too. Where you get to make sure that you really heard what was said, or that the other person really heard what you said. And where in the end there is true shared understanding. That's exactly what I was looking for.

It didn't "save" my relationship, and yet it did at the same time. It opened up the space for us to be honest about what each of us wanted and to get clear that those things just were not compatible. But it saved our relationship. We were going to a bad place, and this got us to a better one where we regained a whole lot of kindness and respect for one another and we remain very good friends. I'm constantly grateful for that.

Fast forward 4 years and when I was doing my life coach training the things I learned from Imago therapy kept coming up. And then when I started working with people, perhaps the most common issue that kept arising was the troubles in relationships. I thought I could be of so much more service if I worked with couples directly. I just wasn't sure how to go about that, but the idea kept on poking me in the ribs.

So in 2014, after reading Eat Pray Love for perhaps the sixth time, when I came upon that section where Liz decides she wants a spiritual teacher, and then promptly finds one, I decided "I want a couples therapy teacher." About a week later I discovered Hedy Schleifer's TED talk via a friend's facebook post. And I was in love. I had found my teacher.

Hedy Schleifer has been an Imago Therapist for maybe as long as I've been alive, and so over the years she has turned it into something uniquely hers. And this woman speaks my language. I mean she speaks about 6 languages, she dresses like Martha Graham, wears incredible jewelry, and speaks directly to my heart.

I became determined to do Hedy's 3-day couples therapy training, maybe even a little obsessed. That always seems to work for me! So when I sold my houseboat on the Toronto Island, I invested in a life-changing escape from winter with a trip to Mexico and then to Los Angeles to learn from Hedy.

And there we are.

January 08, 2016

I moved to Mexico

I did it! I'm here in Sayulita, Mexico!

2015 was a rough year for me. Marcel died. My relationship with Sam fell apart. But it brought me here last February and now I'm back for good. Arrived on December 25, so still in the same year.

I sold everything back in Toronto and I'm here with some sundresses and a few pieces of pottery. I've got lots of reflect on, and lots of resting and healing to do. Many thoughts to come about all of this.

But those dreams people, those dreams can come true!! I welcomed 2016 on the beach with my new little doggy friend Chewy.

February 27, 2015

Do Your Work Podcast!

Heya! I've started doing a podcast with Perry Gladstone in which we discuss an obstacle that has recently come up with one, or even a few of our clients, in their ability and desire to do their WORK. You know, the real work & purpose that fires you up!

So we called it DO YOUR WORK!

We both believe that helping people really find their purpose and act from that power is what makes the world a better place. So we're both totally committed to offering tools and ideas about how to "Clear out the Crap + Do Your Work = Live the Life You Want!"

Here's a short introduction about it and a sample of what I sound like "in real life"! Perry & I really have a good time sinking out teeth into these conversations.

We've done five of them so far:

* Failure - Why You're Not One!

* Impostor Syndrome - How to Stop Feeling Like a Fraud

* Celebrate Accomplishments & Stay Motivated

* I Think I Need Stuff I Don't Have Before I Can Start

* Turning Impossible Into Possible

Let me know if there's anything you'd like us to address! We are here to help!

December 31, 2014

Vision Quest 2015 - Action Planner

Goodbye 2014 & Hello 2015!!

I spent the month of December doing an unusual kind of planning for the new year. I decided to listen to the Vision Quest meditation that I do in my Steering By Starlight groups 6 times. My hope was that I would get some very clear ideas about what to focus on in 2015. A whole bunch of people joined me in this endeavour on Facebook and it seems my experiment worked!! 

Feel free to have a listen to the meditation yourself if you could use some clarity.

Now, the task at hand for 2015 is to figure out how to turn dreams and visions into reality - and for that having a good plan makes all the difference!

January, February & March seem to be the time when we either make our plans stick or when they fall apart. 

So my friend & colleague Deborah Rose and I have put together a gorgeous planner and are now inviting everyone to join us for a weekly call for the first quarter of the year to stay on track.

We believe that using a tool to help you see your goals on paper, and breaking them down in to real action steps that you can schedule in your calendar, is where the magic happens.

But we also know that having company, help, and accountability along the way is perhaps the most useful tool of all. So every Tuesday at 3 pm EST, 12 noon PST, we will be holding a call to keep you company and offer some help along the way.

December 18, 2014

Celebrate Yourself!

As we head into the last few days of year lots of people are looking forward to what they want to manifest in the new year - yay 2015!

But before we do that Perry Gladstone & I had a great chat about why it's so important to look back on the year's accomplishments. We need to really see what we have learned, persevered through, and overcome - to see what new tools we know have, what new understanding we have, and what new strengths we have now.

Finding a way to share this & celebrate it with the people in our lives who really get us and care about us gives us a touchstone and a marker for our growth and achievements that really help us remember and integrate them so that we can continue to access it all when new challenges arise.

So one of my goals in 2015 is to create more celebrations for what we've all make it through and what we have now that we're on the other side. Do have a listen!