November 28, 2013

Love Yourself - be at Peace

So you know this whole self-acceptance, self-love thing ... there is a lot of hype about this. For me it's simple, if I don't accept myself, if I don't love myself - freckles and all - then I am at war with myself. And that is not what I want. I want to be at peace. Cause then I can spread that around like soft buttah on toast.

"Peace is more than just a feeling. It's the mental and physical frequency where you'll find all your real power." ~ Martha Beck

Place yourself in good company - you'll feel better!

A good way to build your self-esteem - your sense of worthiness and value - is to make a list of everything you're good at. Then ask a bunch of kind & loving people in your life what they thing you're good at. Include even things that may seem small and effortless. Reflect on how many of these things and qualities are similar to people you admire. Now you have placed yourself in very good company. And you belong there. Start treating yourself as well as you think any of these people deserve to be treated. Value yourself and use that list as a reminder any time you start to feel unworthy of anything in your life.

October 02, 2013

Drop the Drama

Welcome to Drop the Drama!

This is a bi-weekly call to give you sweet release and peace from your dramatic thoughts that are making you feel crazy, sad, stuck or just generally crappy.

I will show you how to use the 4 Questions from Byron Katie to get from high-drama to cool clarity.

First call will be Thursday, October 17th at 8pm EST.

Sign up via in the sidebar!

This is what it looks like:

My thought is that I'm too old to change careers.

1. Is that true?

Well sure it's true, I'm 46 years old. People don't just start something new at my age.

2. Can you be absolutely sure that 46 is too old and nobody has ever changed careers a this age.

Maybe not absolutely sure.

3. How do you react, feel, and act when you believe the thought?

I am angry, and frustrated that I can't shift gears into what I want. So I'm short-tempered with people around me. Which is straining my relationships at work and at home.

4. Who would you be without the thought?

I would figure out what else I can do at this point in my life that would make me happy. And take steps toward that.

The Turnaround(s):

I'm not too old to change careers.

I'm young enough to change careers.

I'm at exactly the right time in my life to change my career.

Then we find proof for the Turnaround that feels the most true and freeing.

Here's an experience of working directly with Katie on her thoughts.

September 30, 2013

You are a great problem solver!

Many of us spend time worrying about things that haven't even happened yet - often lots of time. With the result that even if there is nothing wrong right now, we feel fearful, sad, and crappy.

What I would like to remind you of is that you are a great problem solver!

When you have an actual, right now problem you take steps to solve it. You marshal your immediate resources - your cordless drill, the chips in the cupboard, your dog - and get on it! You ask for help if you can't solve it all yourself. You engage your friends or hire an expert. And you get it done!

You can't do this with future problems that haven't happened yet, but you can have a shitty time waiting for them to arise or coming up with phantom solutions that don't give you any relief because they're not real. 

How about just know that problems will arise. And you will deal with them. And help will be there if you need it.

I always say, if you're gonna predict the future, you've gotta make it good.

September 19, 2013

Goodies from Week 1

We are almost always seeking a feeling state from the things we want.

But we can calm ourselves and achieve the gooey-good feelings by spending time imagining that we already have what we want. This also makes it much more likely to happen.

"Thank you, I quit."   "It is written."   "Let it be done."

These are all powerful invocations that create a sense of belief and well-being.

So what are you going to spend some time imagining you have daily for the next week?

September 16, 2013

Join me in my living room

I woke up very energized and excited this morning because this is the week that I get to dive into Steering By Starlight by Martha Beck with a session for two of my nearest and dearest, and a session on Wednesday nights for some people who are mostly new to me.

I love this book, I love watching people free themselves from doubt and discouragement, and I love what I get to learn about myself. I'm just to happy that this is the work/play that I get to do. And it's a crazy and wonderful circle because this is the book that brought me to this place in my life.

There are a couple of comfortable seats left in my living room if you're interested in joining me on Wednesday.

September 09, 2013

Rachel's found more peace

I love it when people tell me how taking Jump Start Your Life has impacted them. Because I can see what happens from my perspective, and I get to see amazing changes - but what is happening on the inside is so much more powerful. Thank you Rachel for sharing your story!!

"I can honestly say, without hesitation, that Jessica's course has been a valuable and fruitful experience. I signed up for the course primarily to a) chart a new career path more closely aligned to my passions and desired lifestyle, and b) find a group of peers for support as I am relatively new to Toronto.

Mission accomplished? Well, yes. Every week I met with this fantastic group of people who provided moral support to one another in a safe environment, without judgement. Thoughts, information and ideas were exchanged. There was plenty of encouragement. And of course chocolate! As a group, we tended to feed off one another's momentum. It was fantastic! And a constant reminder that one need not face life's challenges alone.

As for my career path? Well, prior to the course I was very scattered and lacking in focus. I knew I did not want to be an administrator in a bland office cubicle for the rest of my life, but I also knew I had a lot of untapped potential and passions to explore. My problem was I had absolutely no idea what to pursue, how to more forward, or get out of my rut. I was frustrated.

Now, I'm happy to report that I actually have a plan. Having said that, I also have a better attitude toward uncertainty as well. For me, this was half the battle!

Jessica, with a very steady hand and sharp intuition, walked us through exercises that provided the tools necessary to recognize our limiting thoughts and fears as well as keep them at bay. This not only helped clarify my desires and goals, but also helped me come to a place of calm. As a person who has struggled with severe anxiety (and health problems as a result), I am now far better equipped to realize my plan. And if, for whatever reason my plan falls through or derails, I will not beat myself up about it. I will not feel like a failure. I will not have anxiety attacks about what comes next.

I would say this greater sense of overall peace I have achieved from participating in these sessions has been the biggest reward for me. I am less phased by day-to-day situations or encounters with people I once found to be irritating or annoying. I am more in control of my thoughts and the feelings that arise from them. This is powerful stuff! I cannot emphasize enough how liberating this feels - like an albatross has been cut loose from my neck. It takes some time, but with Jessica's guidance and an open mind you can get there too!

Through it all Jessica is a solid, perceptive, caring and effective guide. She is extremely dedicated and passionate about her work and it shows. She has far exceeded my already high expectations and I highly recommend taking her course. You will be glad you did."

** all photos by Rachel

September 04, 2013

Celebrating One Year of Jump Starts!!

I started my first Jump Start Your Life group one year ago this month. And holy WOW have people's lives changed. Anne has a new job working with delightful people. Candice finally took a vacation and is creating concrete plans for an art show. Julia has launched White Squirrel Cards. Michelle quit her soul-sucking job and is pursuing her big dream of touring Asia. And Steph left her dull corporate job and started at the Ontario College of Art & Design yesterday!
Candice, Steph & Julia
I started this course because I wanted to share what I'd learned with the dear people around me who I knew were struggling with things that were holding them back from their dreams and the lives they really wanted. And you know what, it works. It really works. Steph just sent the group this quick update:

Steph's first year self-portrait - it's needlepoint!
"I just wanted to mention that today was my first day at school and it went very well! I met some lovely people; I was moved by our keynote speaker who read a poem about OCAD and the students here; and got some free art supplies! Tomorrow, I get to have breakfast with my student mentor as well as the other mentors and mentees to prep for my upcoming classes. If it wasn't for this course, none of these experiences would be happening. I am very grateful."

I am so grateful that Steph and the others joined me a year ago, and that we are in fact continuing on this journey as group members keep coming back for more support. We're on Part 3 now! The group continues to make magic and offer the most incredible support to one another. Julia said to me the other day, "you should tell people that this group solves problems in 4 minutes, because it does, it's amazing" - so I'm telling ya.

Come join me and let's see what you're life looks like a year from now!

August 28, 2013

Inspired words about thoughts

I love the quote below from Eat Pray Love. Dale Carnegie distills it down, but I love Liz Gilbert's poetry as she describes how she will no longer harbor unhealthy thoughts. It moved me in a way I didn't understand at the time - cause I sure didn't understand how to change my thoughts. But it sent me seeking for a way to do it and now that I know how, it's one of my most favourite and most liberating tools that creates so much self love and the real ability to make your life into what you want.

If you're ready for that, please join me in September to Jump Start Your Life.

"So I’ve started being vigilant about watching my thoughts all day, monitoring them. I repeat this vow about 700 times a day: “I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore.” Every time a diminishing thought arises, I repeat the vow. I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore. The first time I heard myself say this, my inner ear perked up at the word “harbor”, which is a noun as well as a verb. A harbor, of course, is a place of refuge, a port of entry. I pictured the harbor of my mind – a little beat-up perhaps, a little storm-worn, but well situated and with a nice depth. The harbor of my mind is an open bay, the only access to the island of my Self (which is a young and volcanic island, yes, but fertile and promising). This island has been through some wars, it is true, but is now committed to peace, under a new leader (me) who has instituted new policies to protect the place. And now – let the word go out across the seven seas – there are much, much stricter laws on the books about who may enter this harbor.

You may not come here anymore with your hard and abusive thoughts, with your plague ships of thoughts, with your slave ships of thoughts, with your warships of thoughts – all these will be turned away. Likewise any thoughts that are filled with angry or starving exiles, with malcontents and pamphleteers, mutineers and violent assassins, desperate prostitutes, pimps and seditious stowaways – you may not come here anymore either. Cannibalistic thoughts, for obvious reasons, will no longer be received. Even missionaries will be carefully screened, for sincerity. This is a peaceful harbor, the entryway to a fine and proud island that is only now beginning to cultivate tranquility. If you can abide by these new laws, my dear thoughts, then you are welcome in my mind – otherwise I shall turn you back toward the sea from whence you came. That is my mission, and it will never end." ~ Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

August 14, 2013

This course will change your life!

Really? Well, yes. Candice & Rachel said it changed their lives and Steph says it too in her story ...

"I would have to say that with Jessica's help and guidance through the exercises in Steering By Starlight, my life has changed for the better. I had many life goals I wanted to accomplish but I lacked the tools and focus to overcome the obstacles I believed were in my path. I had many fears and was holding on to bad truths I adopted at an early age. But through the many weeks of the course, I learned to rephrase my fears and create new truths; I learned to not let my lizard brain dictate my actions but to acknowledge it and move forward. More importantly, I learned new tools to forge new pathways into the life I wanted. The result is the fulfillment of a dream: I left my full-time corporate day job to study art and get my bachelor's degree. My journey is far from over but it's the beginning of a new life that I'm excited about. I'm so grateful for this course and the amazing support I've received. This will literally change your life!"

I feel very privileged to be the guide and witness to people making major life changes: goals being uncovered; previously dismissed dreams being revived; and changes that were seemingly incredibly scary and difficult turning out to be much simpler and easier to accomplish.

So I thought I'd give some examples of other shifts that participants have made:

- a job that felt like a dead-end but the only thing that would pay the rent ended with a severance package and acceptance into art school - go Steph!

- an uncomfortable & unpleasant living arrangement that felt like the only thing that was affordable was left for an expansive and "expensive" apartment with a plan of how to pay for it!

- a relationship with a family member was re-framed with clear boundaries that creates a sense of safety and freedom!

- a job that had once been a delight but had become stifling was left with well wishes and a clear plan to start a business that engages all the skills and interests of the new owner!

- a love relationship that had long been imagined as impossible became a reality with a person who came closer and closer into orbit as the belief that it WAS possible grew!

- a relationship with a colleague that had been intolerable became tolerable with the resetting of boundaries and the energy shift in beliefs about being a victim to being the leader!

- a long dreamed of trip that seemed completely out of reach became simple and easy with a few requests for help!

What would you like to change? Come Fire Up Your Life and make it happen!

August 10, 2013

Q & A about Steering By Starlight

My friend Aislinn is interested in joining this fall's Steering By Starlight course and she asked me a bunch of great questions about what it's like. She's kindly agreed to share our exchange for anyone who may be wondering the very same things. Thanks Aislinn!!

Aislinn: When does it start and what will our first meeting be like?

Jessica: The group will be 6 people max. That's how many people fit into my living room! The first week I ask people to introduce themselves and to share some of their hopes for what the course will do for them. Which leads directly to the first exercise in Chapter 1 of the book about identifying what you really want.

The course is structured to lead us through the Chapters of Steering By Starlight in 8 weeks. I lead the group through the exercises in the book to show how to make the shifts to both identifying and getting what you want in your life. The first time I read the book I was all - yeah, great, sure I get it - and I didn't do the exercises. But doing them is what makes it work!

It tends to get deep very quickly which is where the magic is, but you only share what feels comfortable for you.

Aislinn: Oooh! That sounds really exciting! I'm at a point in my life where I feel an exercise like that would be incredibly helpful and rewarding.

Jess: I can honestly say that every person who has taken the course, and really done the work has made incredible changes in their lives that have surprised the hell out of me! In a good way of course!

Aislinn: Of course! That is VERY inspiring and interesting to hear :). Is it sometimes people you know and sometimes perfect strangers?

Jess: Yep. I didn't advertise my first group as I only invited people I knew. Several old friends and a few newer acquaintances. They were my batter testers!

Aislinn: Haha, spoon lickers!

Jess: But my second and third groups included several people I didn't know. Both groups did Part 2 also, which comes next. And now that I have two groups of alums several of them have asked me to do a Part 3. The group becomes an incredible problem solving resource and a huge support to continue to move goals forward. So that's happening too!

Aislinn: A very good sign of happy and satisfied participants! And you seem like you would be a very capable tour-guide through an experience like this. Do you enjoy it? (silly question, I think ...)

Jess: I love it. I've been facilitating groups since I taught Women's Studies 101 in my last year at the University of Michigan. And then 15 years of teaching people how to dance together. Which is all about relationships, letting people know it's ok to be beginners again, and showing up with the belief that they can do something they often think they can't. I'm always right about that one! This is where my mojo really shines. And the book has almost everything in it that I have seen change lives. It changed mine! The few things that are missing, I add in along the way.

It's funny, I only recently threw out all my materials from those first classes I taught. It's been over 20 years after-all. But I still cannot part with the final reflections that my students gave me - they were so full of wonder and gratitude at how much they'd changed and grown. And they are a direct connection to the work I do now. Which ultimately is about consciousness raising and self-understanding.

Aislinn: You are an entirely fascinating woman, Jessica Jenkins.

Jess: I can't deny it ;)

Aislinn: Please save me a spot, I'm most definitely interested!

Jess: The cost for the 8 weeks is $400. Deposits to hold spots are $100 and payment plans are available.

Aislinn: Will do. Thank you!

Jess: Thank you for the beautiful questions!

If you have any questions, no matter how silly you might think they are, please reach out. I love to talk about this stuff! jessica (at) jessica jenkins (dot) ca

CLICK HERE to find all the details!

And click here if you want to know what Aislinn thought after taking the course.

August 09, 2013

Jump Start Your Life with me in September!!

I can't believe it's back to school time but the good news about that is my 8-week, life changing Jump Start Your Life course is starting again the third week of September!!

If you're tired of how your life has been going, wanting to make some changes but not sure how, or looking for the deeper meaning in your life this 8 week course will explore how to create more happiness, give you new tools to make change, and clarify your deep desires.

This is what Candice had to say about her experience from last year's session:

"I can say that this course exceeded my expectations by 100%. I didn't know what to expect actually, but I sure didn't know it would change my life. Jessica is a fantastic facilitator, teacher, and contributor, and in the group setting it wasn't so scary. The women in the group helped each other to see we all have fears, we are are all on our own journey and yet we are all connected. It's a beautiful life we can have and this class can help you get to the magic, to your true self , and on the path that is meant just for you. I could go on and on, but you can only decide for yourself. So Go'awn. Try it. I bet you'll like it. :) xo"

Click on over to find all the details or drop me a note if you'd like to connect to talk about it: jessica (at) jessica jenkins (dot) ca

August 08, 2013

Happiness Tips in NOW Magazine!!

NOW Magazine has a condensed version of my top 5 tips for creating more happiness in your life!

Here's the whole list:

1. Create a gratitude practice out of anything that feels easy and joyful: like regular thanks at meals; send lots of thank you cards; create a gratitude journal; blog regularly about what you're grateful for; create a gratitude Pintrest board. Doing this opens you up to noticing what is going right in the world, what's beautiful in the small and large things around you which creates a feeling of abundance and calm.

2. Drop judgement. Notice when you are judging yourself and others unkindly. Then stop and think of something kind instead. Judgement just gets in the way of happiness.

3. Ask yourself what you really really want: yes you - ask yourself! Do I really want those shoes, or do I want to feel more love in my life? Do I really want that cookie or do I want to go for a walk? Do I really want to do that thing you asked me to do, or do I want to say no? Ask, and when you get a good honest answer - do that!

4. Have more fun experiences! Yes, more fun!

5. Mind your own business. As in, really mind it, care for it. Look after yourself, be grateful to yourself, be kinder to yourself, ask yourself what you want, and give yourself what you want. Meet your own needs. And stay out of other people's business. Their opinions about you are none of your business and your opinions about them are none of your business (see #2). Their thoughts, feelings, and actions are not about you.

Happiness is always there inside you!

April 06, 2013

Spring into your life!


When you have seen your life's purpose deep in your soul, you cannot un-see it, you cannot un-know it. The universe has always known and has always been supporting the actions that you take toward it, and will act as a helpful and protective shepherd dog - barking and barring your way - should you stray. Your path will feel like joy, like challenge, like curiosity and sometimes like "holy shit", but it will heal you and support you and everyone you meet along the way.