September 17, 2014

Q & A with Aislinn - one year later

Last year around this time, my friend Aislinn was interested in taking my Steering By Starlight course but she had a few questions, so we had a little chat that turned into a lovely Q&A session which you can find here.


I thought that since it's now a year later and Aislinn took both Part 1 & Part 2 of the course, and is now back for Part 3, it would be fun & interesting to hear her thoughts now. She has once again generously offered to share our most recent chat about her experiences to give you-all an idea of what it's like!

Jessica: Do you remember what attracted you to taking the Steering By Starlight class in the first place?
Aislinn: I really was just so happy to hear you were doing something that sounded so appealing and inviting - and also a little scary. I loved the idea of digging in and eventually "making magic". It was *exactly* what I needed.

Jessica:  How long do you think it took to feel comfortable in that first group?
Aislinn: Hmm - maybe our third class, was when I started to feel more at ease? I feel like - once I started to listen to everyone's stories and feelings, and realizing how many concerns and problems that we faced were so similar - I felt much more comfortable. I realized everyone wanted to hear about my life, and I felt much more comfortable talking about it knowing we ALL were there for similar reasons - to incite change, to find something out about ourselves, to resolve conflict and strife...


Jess: I feel like much of the magic that happens is due to the group itself. Did you feel that hearing about everyone else's stuff helped you see yourself and your own stuff differently?
Aislinn: Absolutely! It helped me to realize I wasn't the only person going through tough stuff - I immediately felt less isolated and alone. It also helped to put things into perspective for me - and realize that everyone has things they need to dig in and deal with. Hearing about others reactions and feelings towards similar situations that I was in, and hearing their perspective and understanding was so encouraging. One of my points of hesitation was that I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to do this "with" people - and now, I really wouldn't have it any other way.


Jess: I said that everyone who really does the work experiences some amazing changes. What did you change and what felt the most amazing?
Aislinn: I changed - a lot of things, haha! I was in a job where I was really not very happy at all - and, I changed my attitude and perspective about the position and tried to lead with my power - and, just going in and acting so differently than how I was accustomed to - in control, and satisfied, and happy - felt GREAT. It still wasn't exactly right though - and so I quit, which I was so WORRIED about, but as soon as I realized I had the choice to just - not be there, to leave and go do something else - that realization was incredibly liberating.
Also - the work I did regarding my romantic relationships, assessing what I really wanted in a partner, writing it down, then only accepting that - has also been fantastic. It's so much easier. And, now I feel like I really know what I want, and won't settle for anything else. It's really turned around the way I approach dating and meeting new people.


Jess: How about the changes in how you feel about yourself and your own power? I get the sense that you've changed your beliefs about who you're allowed to be in the world.
Aislinn: Haha - I most definitely did. I feel more like myself now than I have in a very long time. I now feel confident and comfortable in being whomever, and whatever I choose. It's wonderful!! I feel like before, I felt very restricted - I could only see limited and very narrow possibilities for how I could act and what my choices were. I feel like I'd forgotten I was invincible - and now, I've remembered!


Jess: Wow! I love that! So, would you say the time & cost investment was worth it?
Aislinn: (I love it too!) and - absolutely. 110%. Without a second thought.


Jess: Yay! How would you describe my approach to the class?
Aislinn: Hmm - very welcoming and inviting, and definitely encouraging. But, also fun and sassy - there wasn't a single class where I didn't laugh until I was in tears at least once. However - you don't take any nonsense when it comes down to the nitty-gritty stuff.


Jess: Did it feel like a safe space to share very personal things?
Aislinn: Yes. Absolutely. You very kindly but directly pointed out when I was intentionally trying to avoid dealing with an issue because it was uncomfortable, or unpleasant - but I always felt comfortable sharing things that made me feel vulnerable, because of the gentle and compassionate way in which you welcomed it forth.


Jess: So you did Part 1 & Part 2, why are you back for Part 3?
Aislinn: Hmm - I still have things I need to dig into and deal with. I mean - I feel I always will. But, I love the group setting, as well as - well, you! You being there to kick me in the ass and cheer me on along the way is a big incentive to go through Part 3.


Jess: Anything else you'd like to add for anyone thinking about taking the class for the first time?
Aislinn: Do it. Just - jump in there and get started. There are open arms waiting for you!! Also - do your homework!!! Really. It helps so much more to put in the effort to fully work through the exercises, EVEN if it seems like it's not your thing at the beginning.


Steering By Starlight is an 8 week guided journey through the book of the same name by Martha Beck, my mentor. The cost is $400 and includes a 1:1 session with me & snacks!